A note on challenges

Here's the thing about making a 300 page graphic novel in one stretch; it takes SO much planning. Consistent planning, from week to week. Always trying to figure out what I can realistically achieve in a given week. How many hours of work can I squeeze out of the days whilst also parenting, and trying to move house? It is so hard. Is there enough time? How many hours of work do I think are left and are there enough in the weeks?

And the kicker is; I've not earned a penny for months. So I said yes to a small piece of freelance work back in December, which was supposed to be a very quick turnaround job, done in a couple of weeks. I even told the client I wouldn't be able to work between February and March due to the book deadline. So of course that small piece of freelance work drags on, and is still dragging on, currently unpaid despite how much work it has been.

And another client approached asking for a quote, which I was keen to give, as mentioned previously, I have not earned a penny in months. However, I explicitly outlined my availability, meaning I'm currently unavailable until I finish the book. But the thing is, often people don't really believe you. When you say you're busy, or fully booked, they say 'I understand, but can you just do this?' and it really is never 'just this.'

I'm running on empty here, working late nights, long weekends. And the work I love, I really love it, it's just the rest surrounding it that feels like it's squeezing me. It feels like old ghosts haunting me, not letting me move on. I need the work, I know I shouldn't complain.

This is all just such hard work at the moment.